A new year.

I am going to try my damnedest to be better this year. I need to be. I need to stop doing this to myself.

On another note, I need to write more often, I would love to learn how to style my hair better, and I want to get new clothes. Much easier with Platos?

I'll be here more often.

cele mai frumoase femei sunt femei cu cea mai mare durere in spatele ochilor.

Sunt pierdut. Nu este nimeni pentru mine, pentru a vorbi despre tot ce te frământă au fost cu mine. Deci, să stau singur, cu tot interiorul, plânge şi eu la culcare.
Am un nou halucinaţie. Am auzit ca o femeie să ţipe de apă, ori de câte ori se execută. Este de luare de mine o nebunie. A început cu linişte sobbing şi tocmai a fost mai tare şi mai tare de acolo. Ea ma face sa ma simt ca si cum capul va exploda.



"I didn't want my picture taken because I was going to cry. I didn't know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I'd cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full."

On another note, I need new reading material. I miss reading.

I do have to reccommend to anyone reading this, read

My List of Books to READ.

1. The Virgin Suicides

2. White Oleander

3. Middlesex

4. Paint it Black (but only if you can handle the sadness. seriously this book will depress you)

5. The Bell Jar

6. The Time Travelors Wife

7. Smashed

8. Prozac Nation

okay, so that's just a few. But they're all really good. But, I need new books. Maybe it's time for a visit to the library :O

A first post...

Not nearly as nerve-inducing as writing on the first page of a notebook.

Today I feel like I am falling apart. Lately I've just been crumbling but today...today is something different. My head is killing me. My body feels like it doesn't want to move. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. No voices right now, which is odd. You'd think they'd chose a moment of weakness to descend upon me like usual. I guess I caught a break right this second. But the hallucinations are headed towards worse. 

I keep seeing bugs. Everywhere. It's making me really freak out. I have this itch to see what I look like under my skin. 

E just left for work. It's scarier when he's gone. I don't like to be alone.